Brain Surgery Recovery Report

I do this blog for three reasons. 1. It is a form of therapy for me. 2. To update friends and family on my progress and 3. To share with others who may be going through a similar challenge - An initial diagnosis of a brain tumor, cancer, or fighting thru the recovery process.

I received a call from my NeuroOncologist today. We will meet tomorrow and I suspect that we will review my treatment options that were discussed at the "Tumor Board". While I wait for the treatment options my therapy continues.

Occupational Therapy: Today was the first real day of therapy and was extremely frustrating!! I honestly just want to give up and just use my left hand for everything.  The gross motor skills of my hand are fine, but the fine motor skills of the hand are insanely difficult for me to train.

I was given some "Thera-putty" to use at home which will help to strengthen my hand and fingers.

Today, my therapist brought out a HORRIBLE device (see picture below) for some fine motor exercises. She had me pick up a nut and tighten it in place. This exercise was so irritating because for every turn of the nut my hand would "drag" the nut backwards a half a turn; My hand was shaking by the end of the session.

Speech Therapy: Memory, picturing scenes/places, naming categories and word recall continue to be a challenge for me. Fay has noticed an improvement, though its not nearly fast enough for me. I know my therapists are there to help me through this, but I can't help but feel ashamed and embarrassed when I cannot provide answers. I'm glad the sessions are only 1 hour because, I leave with a headache every time.

Physical: I'm now walking consistently 5 miles a day, in 1 mile increments, with little to no pain. I'm used to running about 30-40 miles per week, so this is a huge physical setback for me. I need to start some light workouts to strengthen my core muscles. My right side is still very weak and I am still slightly drooping to the right. My therapist has shown me some stretches and says this will improve once I strengthen my core and my muscles loosen up.

It still hurts my head to bend down or lay flat, so I need to take it slow. The fluid and pressure in my brain is still a limiting factor. It's getting better, but slowly.

State of Mind: I have bouts of depression and I'm pissed at the speed of my recovery. I get discouraged and mad at myself for not being able to do and say what I want to.

"Thoughts and feelings by Josh, organization and editing by Fay"